turning 20
you could argue that it is a day like any other, that besides losing my -teen suffix forever, nothing has really changed. but i must say, and i guess you could attribute that to my nostalgic and slightly overdramatic nature, this day feels special. almost monumental. from the day we are born, each of us goes through these milestones, marking the inevitable passage of time. your first birthday, congratulations you've been alive a whole year! your tenth birthday, you're not a little kid anymore. you're thirteenth birthday, you're a teenager. you're sixteenth birthday you get the first little taste of adult life. eighteen... legally an adult, though you probably feel nothing like it. and finally twenty... one that doesn't feel any bigger than any of its predecessors but possibly the one that makes me feel most excited, and the most scared. if you are anything like me, you have a soft spot for stories of teenage extravaganza, romanticised by movies like ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower. turning twenty feels like getting further away from that reality that was my comfort place for so long and one i knew so well. what happens to my teenage angst when i'm not a teenager anymore? but what scares me even more, is the weight your twenties seem to carry. all the time i hear about the successes and achievements of people who are not much older than me, millionaire at 24, globally acclaimed author at 22. being "too young" is no longer a good excuse for the striking lack of achievements in my lifetime. for some unexplainable reason, everyone seems to have expectations as to what your twenties should look like. they say its the most crucial time in your life, in which you should not only reach certain milestones; finish uni, get a job, rent an apartment, get a promotion, get married, but also grow up and find yourself. i keep asking myself the same question, over and over again. what if i don't make the most out of them, and as more years go by, will it be too late to change it?
it's truly fascinating, the potential of one year, and knowing that when my 21st birthday comes around, i will be yet another step closer to the version of myself i aspire to be. if there is one lesson that my teenage years have taught me, is that the most important thing, which makes life worth living are people (and cats). friends, family, acquaintances, people you have lost touch with and people you are yet to meet. so thank you to everyone whose path crossed mine, at some point or another, because the collective of all these interactions has shaped me into the caring, empathetic and strong person that i am today.
so, i'd like to raise a toast to my teenage self, i'm gonna do my best to make you proud.
lots of love, poppy x
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