The Price of Poverty: How Growing Up Working Class Creates a Lifetime of Money Guilt

Money isn’t just about numbers in a bank account - it’s about emotions, about identity, about what you feel you deserve. If you grew up working class, chances are, you know the deep, gnawing guilt that comes with spending money. No matter how much you earn, how much you save, or how much you try to change your mindset, that guilt never fully goes away. But where does it begin? For many, it starts in childhood - with free school meals, second-hand clothes, and the stigma of needing help.

The Scarcity Mindset: When Every Penny Feels Precious

For the working class, money is never just money. It’s survival. If you grow up watching your parent(s) stretch every last pound to make rent, if you experience the stress of not knowing if the heating can go on this week, or if you hear the phrase “we can’t afford that” more times than you can count, it shapes you. You internalise the idea that spending is dangerous, even reckless.

Even when you start earning your own money, that mindset doesn’t disappear. If you buy yourself something nice, there’s always a voice whispering: That could have gone towards rent. What if you need that money later? What if something happens? When you’ve spent years watching money slip away too quickly, it’s hard to believe that financial security is even possible.

Intergenerational Money Guilt: The Cycle of Financial Trauma

Money guilt doesn’t just begin with personal experiences, it’s often inherited. If you grew up hearing your parents stress about bills, avoid certain purchases, or feel ashamed when asking for financial help, you likely internalised those anxieties yourself. The fear of financial instability is passed down, and it shapes how you interact with money as an adult.

Many working-class individuals feel pressure to support their parents or younger siblings once they start earning, creating a sense of obligation that wealthier families may not experience. Even as incomes increase, the guilt of ‘having more’ than previous generations makes spending money feel unearned or selfish.

The Shame of Free School Meals: How Class Stigma Starts Young

For many working-class children, money guilt begins in school. If you were on free school meals, you likely remember the awkwardness of it, the separate queue, the different-coloured card, the way some kids whispered about who was ‘poor.’ Even in schools where systems were meant to be anonymous, the stigma was still there.

Government policies around free school meals often reinforce shame rather than ease it. The constant political debates about whether children ‘deserve’ free food frame poverty as a personal failing rather than a systemic issue. The 2020 controversy over free school meal parcels in the UK, where families were given pitiful, insufficient food boxes instead of financial assistance, exemplifies how the poor are treated as untrustworthy, incapable of managing money responsibly. These experiences teach children early on that needing help is shameful, that money is a source of embarrassment, and that any small luxury can be scrutinised.

Guilt in the Workplace: Asking for Fair Wages

Working-class individuals often feel an additional layer of guilt when it comes to advocating for themselves in professional environments. The fear of ‘asking for too much’ can make salary negotiations, requesting raises, or even pushing back against workplace exploitation feel like an overstep.

This reluctance is partly shaped by a society that frames financial struggle as noble, where working hard for little pay is considered a sign of good character rather than systemic exploitation. Many workers, particularly those from working-class backgrounds, feel obligated to prove they are ‘grateful’ for their jobs, even at the expense of fair compensation and work-life balance.

Guilt Over the ‘Wrong’ Purchases

If you’re working class, you might have heard some variation of “If you’re struggling so much, why are you buying [insert non-essential item]?” at some point in your life. Maybe you bought a takeaway, went to a gig, or got your nails done. And suddenly, people are judging you, questioning whether you ‘deserve’ that tiny piece of joy. When you’re raised in an environment where every purchase is scrutinised, you learn to scrutinise yourself.

Even when you’ve worked hard for your money, it’s difficult to shake the feeling that you’re not ‘allowed’ to enjoy it. Buying something fun feels selfish. Spending money on an experience instead of saving it for an emergency feels irresponsible. And when you do spend, you feel the need to justify it: I only got this because it was on sale. I deserve this because I’ve been working so hard. It was a one-off, I won’t do it again for a while.

Guilt in Social Situations: The Cost of Belonging

Social situations present another challenge for those with working-class backgrounds. Friends suggesting expensive trips, splitting bills at restaurants, or buying group gifts can lead to silent anxiety. Even when you have the money, spending it on ‘frivolous’ social activities may feel wasteful, especially when family members or loved ones are struggling financially.

Many people from working-class backgrounds find themselves making excuses to avoid social events, not because they don’t want to go, but because the guilt of spending money in a ‘non-essential’ way is overwhelming. Others overextend themselves financially to keep up with their social circles, leading to stress, debt, or financial instability down the line.

The Role of Media and Politics in Shaping Attitudes

The guilt around money isn’t just personal, it’s societal. Politicians and media outlets frequently push the idea that poor people should be grateful for whatever they get and should not expect, let alone enjoy, luxuries. The infamous rhetoric about “benefits cheats” and “scroungers” feeds into a broader cultural belief that financial struggle is the fault of the individual rather than a systemic issue.

The truth is, money guilt isn’t about numbers it’s about conditioning. It’s about the years spent in survival mode. It’s about a world that tells you that financial stability is a reward for the privileged, not a right for everyone. And unlearning that guilt? That takes time.

But here’s the thing: you deserve security. You deserve comfort. You deserve joy. And you don’t have to justify that to anyone.