St. Valentine Was an Anarchist: The Radical History of Love

Valentine’s Day has become synonymous with roses, chocolates, and overpriced candlelit dinners. But beneath the Hallmark holiday lies a history of love as an act of defiance. From political marriages to queer resistance, love has often been a tool for challenging power, breaking oppressive structures, and forging radical change. Even St. Valentine himself, the figurehead of the holiday, was a rebel who defied the state to unite people in love. This piece explores the forgotten history of love as an act of rebellion, uncovering how romance has been used as a force for political and social transformation.

A Marriage Rebel Against the State

The man behind Valentine’s Day was not a capitalist cupid but a political dissident. According to legend, St. Valentine was a Roman priest who secretly performed marriages for soldiers who were forbidden from marrying under Emperor Claudius II’s rule. Claudius believed that single men made better soldiers, so he banned young men from marrying, seeing love as a distraction from military service. Valentine defied this decree, believing that love and commitment should not be dictated by the state. His refusal to comply led to his imprisonment and eventual execution on February 14th, 269 AD.

Valentine’s story reveals a long-standing truth: throughout history, love has been regulated, controlled, and criminalised by those in power. Governments, religious institutions, and economic systems have long sought to dictate who is allowed to love whom, often using marriage laws and social norms to enforce their authority. But just as love has been policed, it has also been wielded as a weapon of resistance.

 How Romance Became a Political Act

1. The Marriage Ban as State Control

Valentine’s rebellion was not unique. Throughout history, oppressive regimes have sought to control marriage and relationships as a means of consolidating power. During slavery in the United States, enslaved Black people were denied the legal right to marry, as their owners saw them as property rather than individuals deserving of love and family. Yet, enslaved couples still created their own ceremonies, jumping over broomsticks as an act of defiance and self-determination. Love, in this context, was an assertion of humanity against dehumanisation.

Similarly, during apartheid in South Africa, interracial marriages were outlawed under the 1949 Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act. Couples who defied these laws risked imprisonment and exile, yet many still pursued relationships in secret, proving that love could transcend even the most violent racial hierarchies. The same holds true in modern-day authoritarian states. In Saudi Arabia, laws restricting relationships between people of different religions or nationalities have led to underground movements of cross-cultural couples who risk everything to be together. In China, the government has attempted to regulate love through its crackdown on LGBTQ+ relationships, media representation, and queer activism, reinforcing how love remains a site of political resistance in the 21st century.

2. Medieval Courtly Love as a Form of Resistance

During the Middle Ages, love was often dictated by political alliances rather than personal choice, but the emergence of courtly love provided a means of subverting these rigid structures. Eleanor of Aquitaine, one of the most powerful women of the 12th century, played a key role in promoting this romantic ideal, which allowed women greater agency in romantic and sexual relationships. Through poetry and song, troubadours celebrated the idea that love should be based on mutual admiration rather than duty, challenging the feudal order that treated marriage as a political contract.

This notion of love as a personal choice laid the groundwork for later ideas about romance as an act of defiance against state and religious control. While courtly love remained largely within the aristocracy, it still represented an early instance of individuals pushing back against institutionalised power structures through romantic relationships.

3. The Paris Commune and Revolutionary Love

Love was also central to the Paris Commune of 1871, one of the most radical socialist uprisings in history. During its brief existence, the Commune reimagined relationships outside of traditional bourgeois norms, with figures like Louise Michel, a leading revolutionary, rejecting state-sanctioned marriage in favour of free love. The Commune’s vision of love was inseparable from its broader revolutionary politics: rejecting property-based marriages, promoting gender equality, and advocating for relationships founded on mutual respect rather than legal contracts.

This legacy of revolutionary love influenced later radical movements, from anarchist circles in the early 20th century to the feminist movements of the 1960s and 70s, which sought to break free from the patriarchal constraints of marriage and monogamy.

4. The Suffragettes and Love as a Political Bond

Many British suffragettes rejected traditional marriage in favour of political sisterhood and activism. Sylvia Pankhurst, unlike her mother and sister, focused on the struggles of working-class women, seeing love and solidarity among women as key to their liberation. Many suffragettes, including Emmeline Pethick-Lawrence and Christabel Pankhurst, were in close partnerships with other women, demonstrating how feminist movements often created alternative models of love and support.

These relationships, whether romantic or based on deep friendship, provided a foundation for resistance. They highlight how love, especially between women, has long been a radical act in the fight for equality.

Rejecting the Market’s Grip on Romance

In today’s world, love is not only regulated by the state but also commodified by capitalism. Valentine’s Day, a holiday with radical roots, has been transformed into a commercial spectacle where expressions of love are measured in monetary value. Flowers, diamonds, expensive dinners, these are sold as proof of romantic commitment, reinforcing the idea that love must be bought rather than simply felt.

Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, in The Communist Manifesto, critiqued how capitalism reduces human relationships to transactions, including marriage. Historically, marriage functioned as a contract of property and economic security rather than an emotional bond, and while love-based marriages have become the norm, capitalism continues to exploit romantic relationships for profit. Dating apps, engagement ring industries, and wedding planning businesses have all turned love into a high-stakes economic game.

But throughout history, alternative models of love and partnership have challenged this commodification. The free love movement of the 1960s and 70s sought to separate love from state and religious control, advocating for relationships based on mutual respect rather than legal contracts. Today, polyamorous and non-traditional relationship structures continue to push back against the capitalist ideal of possessive love, instead prioritising emotional honesty, autonomy, and shared care.

Reclaiming Love’s Radical Roots

Valentine’s Day may have been repackaged as a consumerist holiday, but its origins remind us that love has always been political. Whether it’s defying unjust marriage bans, resisting state control over relationships, or rejecting capitalism’s commodification of romance, love has been and continues to be an act of rebellion.

By reclaiming the radical history of love, we challenge the narrow, commercialised definitions we are sold and embrace love as a force for change. If Valentine’s Day is truly about celebrating love, then let’s celebrate all forms of love; the love that defies oppression, the love that builds solidarity, and the love that dares to imagine a better world.